Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Blind Idiot Gods


My reference in the title is from one of my favorite writers, that being the great horror writer H.P Lovecraft. It refers to one of his creations, that being a senseless and uncaring godlike being. I will use it to refer to the management class of the corporate world. What is it about being giving a little plastic badge with the word manager or executive on it turns an average person into one of these horrid gods. It seems that as soon as they are promoted they forget or put aside everything they has learned about decent behaviour from their schools, parents, priests, rabbies, and imans aside, and transformed into a new amoral being.

I believe the title of my blog describes this class perfectly. Many of them believe that they are godlike beings that know all and should not be questioned. They became managers because on the whole they are smarter and better than the average worker, they must be otherwise they would not have been promoted They are usually blind to the reality around them or choose to be blind to advance the corporate agenda. For example they are good at double standards, they Will treat their ass kissing toadies different than the other workers who will not plant their lips on their divine behinds. Another big problem is they are childlike, petty, and spiteful, but with a lot of power in their hands, which is a very bad combination, just think of all the great dictators in history. Many are prone to temper tantrums and have the power to make the people's lives miserable under them, because they can. A lot of them get a great thrill having this ability to power trip without any consequences. Also I find a lot of them do not really have a great amount of common sense. They seem to do things, because that's the way the corporate manual says or they are just not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Many of then can not really seem to think on their feet. It is beyond me how some of these feeble minded types got to the positions they have. O well it goes to show you the power of ass kissing to some extent, and the human want to surround yourself with people like yourself, therefore assholes of a feather stick together, like men to boys in a turkish prison.

I know I am generalizing about managers to some extent, but in my experience in corporate canada, I have never seen such a bunch of amoral cretinous rogues as in some of the people I have laboured under. I know there are some good people in this class, but they seem to be in the minority. There are always exceptions to a rule, but on the whole I would not want be stuck in a room for any length of time with these so called leaders of business.

Don't you think it would make more sense to a business to sweep away this great mass of spoiled spiteful children and get a new group of people who are more mature and have some ethics. I believe with better management it would increase morale in a company, thus increase productivity, thus making a stronger company, with more profits, and create a welcoming work place where you don't have to sell your soul to get ahead. Call me a dreamer, but I am not the only one, that feels this way.

Throught covert ways I just found out how they pick management types where I work. I guess intelligent in one attribute they look for, but I don't know after the example of some of the doorknobs I have suffered under, some of them would be intellectually challenged by a piece of sandpaper. It seems one of the main attributes they do look for is ruthlessness and the ability to do what needs to be done for the good of the company. I found out about a couple of tests that they use to test this attribute. I believe these tests where developed and perfected during the third reich. They were used by nazi party officials to find suitable candiates for the upper echelons of the party.

Do you ever wonder what happens to many of the stray kittens that wander our streets,well I will tell you. The first test, is the candiate is lead into a room filled with adorable kittens and a table with a hammer on it. The object of the test is for the candiate to kill as many kittens as they can with their bare hands, within a set time limit. They may use the hammer if they want, but this maybe seen as a negative by the examiners in their final judgment. The scoring is as follows, 1-3 kittens; junior management, 4-8 kittens; middle management; 8 or more kitties killed and you hit the big time; executive or even CEO, you are on the fast track.

The second test involves sensors being hook up to the candiate's genitlia, and sensors that measure heart and breathing rates. They are shown a series of pictures, like pictures of families, children, homes, and animals, maybe it is not a good idea to show them pictures of kitties. They are also shown horrible pictures of atrocities, warfare, and pictures of great dictators and criminals. If the monitors regrister any arousal during the horrid pictures, that is concidered a good thing, and will go in their favour.

Believe it or not their are some great people who are supervisors where I work, I do not know for the life of me how they got throught these tests. I guess the powers that be have to let some decent people through for public and employee relations, so they do not seem all bad.

Here is a work up date for you. Where I live there has been a heat wave, which makes working even more miserable. The temperatures have been in the 80's and 90's with the humidity about the same. As you may know from my prior blogs, I work in a warehouse with no air conditioning, so it is usually hotter in the warehouse than outside. While any ways, canada customs brings their drug sniffer dogs in the warehouse ever once in a while to make a run. A couple of weeks ago their foray was cancelled, why you may ask, because it was too hot for the dogs to work! Unbelievable it was too hot for the dogs, but not us humans, ain't that a kick in the teeth. Sometimes I feel like I am trapped in some Franz Krafka novel. When will the insanity stop. A silver lining for those of you, who like to send your chemicals in the mail, wait until it is hot, when those dogs are on hiatus, your chances of being intercepted are pretty low.

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