Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Sock That Bastard Right In The Nose.


As I was suffering at work, watching the one celled bits of protoplasm they call managers doing their thing. An idea struck me like a hammer of the gods. I know here in north america we have such events as secretary days, bring your brat to work day, and bosses day( I do not know why), we should have an employee"s day, that will really bring the spirits of them up. I believe we should have a Punch Your Boss in the Nose Day. Imagine what a morale builder this would be, it would bring up productivity dramatically, if the poor downtrodden employee gets to let his boss know what he really feels about him. It would be a true barometer of a manager's performance, if this person gets the shit punched out of them Every year, I think that would be a good sign that this person is most likely not doing a good job, and the upper uppity ups should look into this persons performance. This event would not enforce mandatory violence, if the boss is really a good person and manager, they have nothing to fear from their underlings, but on the other hand if they are the typical blind idiot god, than God help them.

Where I work and slave we take a online survey to get a feeling about how we really feel. I believe that many of the results are bogus, because I hear all the time from my fellow slaves how the place is badly run and how they hate working there. Unfortunately when the results of the survey come out, there are like 75% approval rates, yeah right. I believe the results are tampered with or some of my fellow workers lose their nerve when they are in the voting booth. A lot of the times the company splits a shift between two supervisors, usually one is a prick and the other one is pretty decent, so they get you to split your vote, between the two. So you can never totally say your super is good or bad. To get around this I go with the negative so the gobshiie manager will hopefully get his. The company uses this survey mainly as a means to placate us docile sheep into thinking, Gee they really care what we think, man are they ever swell. Instead of using it as a learning tool to fix what is wrong, it is used as a PR ploy. Just think how much more effective a little ultra violence would be to their fact finding mission.

This practice would make a more decent human class of blind idiot gods. If they knew that due to their actions, their underlings would be letting them know how they feel about their performance with their fists and feet, they may think twice about their asshole ways and smarten up and fly right.

As far as how this would work, I have two ideas. The first may let the boss off a little. The idiot would be fitted with a boxing helmet, chest protector, and a groin cup. The employee would wear a pair of boxing gloves and would be allowed to pound away for 3 minutes or so. Kicking or eyegouging would not be allowed. They could hit anywhere on the body. The second way or the pryette way, would be everything goes, punching, kicking, kneeing and grappling, with no pads for the idiot. Would this not be much more satisfying, OO the power and the glory, what fun. An added bonus would be after a session like this the boss would have an all expenses paid medical vacation. Winners all away around.

I know I sound like a dreamer, but I am not the only one, please consider this new day or holiday it would do wonders for the morale and mental health of the work force. Remember punch a boss a day keep the blues away.