A Modest Proposal

The old pryvette was thinking about mother's day and the fact that according to many news reports, there is a major decline in the birthrates of the western world Why is the reason? One major reason is the sure cost of child raising in our modern societies, due to the high cost of living and high taxation rates. Another factor is people are waiting until they are older to get married. Thus the older a mother is , the higher the chances of complications in developing and delivering a baby. Also many women are choosing a career over good old childrearing.

What are the consequences of this dire fact. Well it is simple math, the smaller a population, the smaller the work force, the smaller the tax base. Therefore the state can not afford to fund and maintain their social programs as they did in the past. For example pensions may not be as generous as they were. therefore people may have to work longer to just get by.

So we need to increase the amount of babies that are born, So in the spirit of good citizenship, the pryvette would like to offer his services to the women of the western world. If you want a baby come see the pryvette, I will fix my bayonet and charge into the breach with much elan, and give it the old college try. If you can not meet me for a pryvette session, no worries. Just send me a washed jam jar and I will try to fill it in a week or so. This fits perfectly, I just remembered that ,May is national masturbation month in Canada, what a weird coincidence., But I am a traditionalist and I would rather do it in the good old fashioned way. So I hope to hear from you fertile young women. Remember I am not doing this for my own selfish reasons, but for the good of society. Well I better start drinking my wheatgrass juice to prepare. So if you want to become a mother, just drop the pryvette a line. By the way; Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers and potential mothers.

A Trip Downunder

Some how I must have taken a wrong turn and ended up in the weird and wonderful Wrongtown. This blog is a collective of merry Australians who have a warped sense of humour just like us canadians, I wonder if that has something to do with the fact that we were both former members of the british empire. Could be a PHD thesis there for some enterprising soul. When you get there check out the mayor of Wrongtown, what a hoot. I am proud to say that by some strange fluke of reality, I have been granted citizenship in their metropolis of high strangeness. Thanks mates, what an honour. So put a wombat on your barbie, waltz your Matilda and click on http://www.wrongtown.blogspot.com/ and you will never be right again.

5 People You May Meet In Hell

1. Lou Pearlman

The Gobshitte behind such musical illuminaries as the Backstreet Boys and O Town. O the humanity of it all. The US airforce should do the world a favour and carpet bomb Tampa Bay, Fla the home of this talentless human serviette so his virus can not spread. He is truly a threat to national security and sanity. Bombs away. On a related note I read somewhere that the backstreeters to increase their appeal and to represent their true colours are going to be renamed the Brokeback Boys.

2. Parking Enforcement Officers

These are the hardworking bastards that can wreck a perfect day with a ticket and have the gall to say to you;"have a Nice Day". They also always say;" I am just doing my job". That funny I seem to recall hearing that defense being used by the nazi war criminals on trail at Nuremberg. It was no excuse than and it does not wash with the private. Also according to government propaganda, they give out tickets to keep the traffic moving in the city. What a load of bollocks! It is to fill the city coffers with unvoluntary taxes, so some blowhard major can fullfill their dream of building a shelter for vegetarian cats and go down in history as a great humanitarian, and get a sewage treatment plant named after him.. The money is also used to give the politicians their much needed rises and operating expenses too. poor dears are so underpayed.


3. The guy who coined the phrase "Have a Nice Day"


I say have a nice eternity in hell Pal! Also see #2.


4. Tom Cruise


False prophet of a false religion. Hey Tom get some psychological help. Katie, bad career choice, insanity does not make for a long career in Hollywood, just ask poor Francis Farmer.


5. 106 Fm The Drive, Detroit, Michigan

One of the lamest radio stations in the universe. Unfortunately I have to listen to this dreck for most of the time I am suffering at work, so this compounds the suffering. According to the blind idiot gods, this is the only station that comes in really well. I believe that they play it a majority of the time to placate a lot of the unwashed plebs that believe it is actually good radio. You know the old saying, music soothes the savage beast, even if it is bad music. They have a lame, boring play list, that is the same every day. You can actually tell what time it is by what song they are playing. Wow now thats what I call dynamic radio.

Some limp dick annoucer who interrupts after every song with some tepid jokes and comments. They also have annoying, unfunny DJ that on many occasions yell out the call letters twice or more in the same run on sentence. They might as well get rid of the DJs and just get limp dick to say their lines. Many of the male DJS have that annoying cheesy radio voice, like they are anouncers at the Miss Parsnip contest some where in Ichy Ass, Wisconsin. They also interrupt their feast of gourmet radio with way too many commericals. These commercials are beyond lame, a lot of them seem to be written by some Z grade stand up comic that could not make it at the local Denny's restaurant. They also have a lot of remotes which means they transmits live from a lucky business. Man this is more exciting, innovative radio, they make Edward R. Morrow"s live broadcasts from London during the blitz seem like paint drying. Their remots consist of the live DJ basically plugging the business, with a bunch of drunken yobs in the background yelling like morons. What a use of the public airwaves, Pulitzer prize material. Please God strike these scam artists(a use the word lightly) dumb.

It is embarrassing to think that these putzs have a license and they are carrying on the mantle of Detroit radio. When I think back to all the truly great and innovative radio stations and DJS of the past, it is enough to bring a tear to the old pyvette's eyes.

I would like to thank Mitch Albon for being my inspiration for this blog, another great Detroit gobshhitte. Also to you out their in cyberland if you can think of anyone you might meet in hell, drop the pryvette a line and let me know. Have a nice day. o Bob Saget!!!! Bob Saget!!! I am so sorry, I will have to say 50 hail marys.